pain...

We are going to the ocean soon. This time the Oregon one. When we think about going to the ocean we imagine standing at it's shore and screaming and yelling at God. We can't help but feel God's presence at the ocean. But we're mad at him. He could fix this pain. He could take it away. We know he feels our pain and that he cries with us, but he could fix it. We are mad. We are sad. We are consumed. This journey is so so hard. We don't want to hear that it is all in his timing, even if it is, we don't like hearing that. You see, we want to believe this is all in his timing, but right now we're too scared that he will never fix it. We're too scared that this road will never end. So for now we thank you all for having the hope that we don't. For your prayers, for your listening ear, for your being there or not when we need it or don't need it. We imagine probably too much what it will be like to be parents. We dream, then we cry. Because the pain surrounds us, runs through us and around us. The pain hurts.