Here we go again

Infertility is still here.

It never went away.  We gave birth to miracle twin girls almost 19 months ago.  But that did not cure infertility.

It enters my thoughts at least once a day.  Every single day.

I've had many people say to me recently that we should be able to have babies without fertility treatments now that I've been pregnant...right?  Um, no...

That happens for some people.  Not us.

I don't know why it doesn't happen for us...I don't know why our infertility is unexplained.  But it is.

Here we go again...

Monday I have will have a saline infused sonogram in preparation for a FET (frozen embryo transfer) in September. 

So begins the journey.  The nervousness, the fear, the hope, the imagining, the dreaming, the appointments, the ultra sounds, the blood draws, the hormones...

This is way less invasive than the IVF we did to get Hannah and Harper because from that we also have 3 frozen embryos.

The sucky part is that on Monday, I have to arrive an hour early to have my blood drawn for a pregnancy test prior to the procedure...I know this is just common practice, I know they have to do it...but it doesn't change my annoyance at it...I want to laugh in the face of that test...and also, I almost asked why they couldn't just take my word for it...but I'll go, then an hour later, because the pregnancy test will be negative, I'll have my procedure. 

Here we go again.  It's scary. In the midst of the fear and the roller coaster and the waiting and the wondering, I'm filled with thankfulness for the embryos. Infertility is a scary road, but I also know miracles can abound!