creeping fear

The purpose of this blog is to write the good, the bad and the ugly. So, this time we embark on the ugly, or at least the bad...
Here is a conversation between Joel and I 5 nights ago:
Joel: "What is your biggest fear?"
Melissa: "That the Mayo procedure will fail...what's yours?"
Joel: "The same"

The night we had this conversation we were enveloped in deep deep fear. We'd been holding it off up until this point. We were filled with such hope and positive thoughts. There was no room for fear. Until then. It ran through us like water running freely off a cliff. It was scary. We didn't like it. We trembled. We hugged. We were sinking into the depths of fear. For a while we had to let it be. We are human after all. We knew this moment would come. We knew that a part of the ups and downs of this journey would lead us to these moments of fear. We prayed. We begged God actually, not only to take the fear, but to make the procedure work. We can't imagine it any other way. Because to imagine it not working at this point could interfere with it working. So, that night, we hung out in fear. And then it passed. And we were on to happier moments where God won this battle...where we cling to hope.

But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
—Isaiah 43:1-2