This is hard

Today I add another dose of hormones to my frozen embryo transfer regimen...

If you need me, I'll be the one crying in the corner...

You guys, this honestly feels like the hardest thing I've ever done.

I know, I know, you're probably saying to yourself right now that of course I think that, I'm hyped up on hormones...I'm overreacting...it's the hormones...

But really...I cry a lot...I have two beautiful sweet, challengning miracle toddlers I'm taking care of...the ones that are exerting their independence and opinions and throwing food and refusing to eat and coloring where they shouldn't and screaming "go" because they want to go outside constantly or "light" because they want me to light a candle so they can stare at it...

I'm blessed, I am, I know I am.  But this is hard.  It's so hard. 

I have a sweet friend growing babies from an FET and she said the hormones for FET are worse than for a fresh IVF cycle...

To be honest it feels worse.  It feels harder.  I can't keep up...with the girls, the house, the appointments, Joel's schedule...any of it.

But I'm trying my hardest.  And the last two nights Joel made dinner for us!  And got up with Harper at 5:50 this morning so I could sleep a little longer!  And I have amazing friends and family calling, tweeting or texting me to see how I'm doing, helping to keep me sane, or listening to me. 

It's a team effort...we'll make it.  But my goodness, it's hard.