Hope Tank

Hope is a funny thing. It comes and goes so radically that it is sometimes hard for us to keep track of. One moment we have it, the next we don't. We never have a lot, we sometimes have none but we are always hoping for more! That might not make sense to anyone but us. We know we have hope in Jesus. We know we have hope and promise of eternal life. Sometimes we hope to be parents, sometimes it hurts to much to hope for what we imagine to be pure amazingness. Back in October we felt Jesus tell us that our arms would be filled with babies...we pictured it so clearly. We felt his Holy Spirit in our midst. We can cling to that. We can cling to Jesus who has never left us even when we felt like he did. In the midst of our sadness and even anger we imagine he cries with us, he must know our pain to the very depth. It's so incredibly hard sometime because we don't understand why he won't give us children. We think we would be amazing parents, we love kids, we know it would be hard work but we'll take the sweat, the lack of sleep, the frustrations, the fears. It seems to us that the only thing better than dancing just the two of us in our living room would be just the two of us plus little feet in sync with ours, part Joel, part me, adopted, chosen, created, biological. You see we love to play. We love to play especially with kids. Some of our passions in life come in the form of our 2 nieces and 3 nephews (and the ones along the way). Today we're scared that it will never happen, maybe tomorrow we'll hope that it will. We plead with the one who is Lord of all creation. We want, we cry out, we try to find hope.