It will happen when....

Many times we have had people say to us..."it will happen when"...you get settled, you don't have as much going on in life, you are finished with school, and so on and so on. We hate it when they say this...it scares us. Just last week I had a person tell me she had a feeling it would happen once we get settled in Montana. I wanted to SCREAM NO! We don't want to wait until then to get pregnant, we want to be pregnant now. We are running out of time for fertility treatments. We feel like God led us down this path...maybe it worked this month. We are living like it worked. Which will make the pain even worse if it didn't but at least we have 2 weeks of living in the moment, living in excitment. Ok, really? We're scared. When people say things like this to us it really scares us. What if they are right? And what makes them "know". What if I have a feeling it will happen now, does that have more weight than her feeling that it will happen later? We hate, hate, hate when people try to tell us when it will happen. They don't know, we don't know. Ok, let me back up, it's different when close friends and family give us their opinion...but this person last week doesn't even know that we're in the two weeks of "it could have happened, we'll know in a few days". This person doesn't really know about our mayo treatments, just a little, but she didn't know we had one a little over a week ago. So, I could cut her some slack!
Ok...vent over! We really do hope and pray it worked this time. We hoped and prayed it worked last time though. But this time we really are staying postive which we hope will carry over into a little stick giving us permission to be happy. But if is doesn't? We'll crumble, we'll cry, we'll hurt...and we'll be faced to deal with our future and it's options. Then we'll dance or run our pain away, or at least try to.