Billings...err...Bozeman

We're going for a consultation with a fertility doctor on October 20th at 1:45pm in Bozeman (I think, she does appts. both places, i'll know more when we get our info packet). When I called to schedule the appointment at first it was awkward and I started to freak out. I do this said freaking out when calling a doctor's office isn't easy. The lady who I was talking to seemed a bit confused as to why I was calling. She eventually asked if I had been referred, maybe that was why she was acting strange? I told her about Mayo and how the doc there said we should call them. She perked up then and was very helpful. It was actually really easy after that to get an appointment. I picked the date and had 3 times to choose from.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful for this opportunity, but here are some thoughts I am having: this is a lot of work. We have to gather records, call doctors, ask for records, find all of our mayo stuff, fight (again) with healthpartners in Minnesota (they do not like record requests), and the worst...go for another consultation. Start all over with someone else. Listen to options, get scared, sad, confused, mad, worried, try not to cry, try to be realistic and not get caught up in the moment...etc. It's hard. And a little part of me doesn't want to go through with it all. More hormones? More trying to figure out who in the state of Montana even carries fertility medicine, more figuring out the calendar and if we can even do treatments based on our work schedules and if we can afford (insurance covers part of it but there is still so much financially that goes into this) going for treatments. It all makes me sad and tired. And to be honest we might even cancel the appointment if it weren't for being curious about how they can really help us living 265 miles away and more importantly wanting to talk to someone who will understand my thyroid and it's problems and it's levels and the metformin prescription that I am on and that expires soon. For all nerves that feeling about going to this appointment, I will do it all, twice, three times, four if it means not going to a non-fertility specialist doctor here who will not understand my meds and how to help us. I did that in Williston. They messed up, I am not doing that again, ever. At least not without the direction of the fertility doctor in Bozeman or our trusty Mayo doctor.