The Consultation

We never thought our journey would come to this. Way back in 2009 (which feels way longer ago than what it was) when we had our very first fertility consult (with a non-specialist), IVF was mentioned of course, but it was so far in the distance, that of course it would never come to that for us. Never. We had so much hope back then for the simplest of things making our dreams for a family come true. Boy were we wrong. Here is the low down on our fertility consult in Bozeman (at the Billings Clinic) with Dr. Stacy Shomento:

We loved her. She was so so kind to us. Our 30 minute time slot with her easily turned into an hour.

One of the first things she said was "I saw Dr. Coddington in Florida recently at a conference and he told me one of their patients was moving to Montana and I'd be hearing from them, so I've been expecting you guys." Wow. (Dr. Coddington is the head doctor in the Reproductive dept. at Mayo, we never met him since our consultations were with Dr. Jensen, but he often read our scans and prescribed meds).

She spent extra time reading over our Mayo records so she would be sure and understand what we've been through up to this point.

She asked us how we were doing...she asked us what we understood about what we've done so far and our future on this infertility journey.

She asked us, "first do you guys have any ethical concerns about IVF?" We answered..."um, we don't think so," while wondering, should we?

Then she slowly and oh so kindly described, with charts and notes, IVF. She made it sound so amazing. She made us feel overwhelmed. She answered questions. She left the room so we could generate more questions, she returned to answer them.

Our percentage of getting pregnant jumps all the way to 50% which is 30% higher than a normal couple with no fertility problems.

She also said to us, "you are young enough that you will be able to use all of your embryos." It's as if God himself was orchestrating her words, it's as if she knew what we needed to know, before we even thought to ask it.

She asked about our insurance coverage. When I told her what the booklet says about what they over per person for infertility, she told me to call them and get details. Then she said "if they cover that much, then this is a no brainer!" Meaning, we gotta do it!

It's all very different from IUI. Yes, it can lead to way more emotional heartache if it doesn't work, than the IUI, but, as Dr. Shomento pointed out, with the distance of where we live from the treatment center (making several trips a month), the emotional tole of IUI not working, the cost of travel, treatment, my body being on hormones for months at a time, well we will have wracked up the same bill over time, have a lot more stress, and no baby. It's not worth it. When she pointed out all of those things about IUI I felt such relief. I know we cannot do that again. It was hard enough living 80 miles away, it's impossible living 265 miles away.