Birthdays

We have 2 birthdays coming up at our house. Birthdays used to be fun a and we excitedly anticipated them. Now they scare us. It's one more year older without kids. When I turned 30 we made a list of things to do at 30 and one of them was get pregnant. We still have that list somewhere in a box and every once in a while it surfaces. And it ticks us off. We had the same goal when I turned 29, we wanted me to be pregnant in my 20's, then at year 30, and now I will be 33 and even though the doctors say that's not too old, every day is one more day towards being too old. Neither one of us is getting any younger! And it sucks. Maybe it's time to abandon, or throw away, lists and dreams. Maybe that would make it easier. If we didn't want, we wouldn't feel all of this pain.

We will have cake though and a homemade latte and try to do something fun for our back to back birthdays (even though Joel has meetings both nights!). I might even make a cake for each church to have the Sunday before Joel's birthday that says "Happy Birthday Pastor Joel" because I think he would like that and I think the congregations would get a real kick out of it!