Grace

of one thing we are certain, we are filled with abundant grace. There is no other way we could still be walking this infertility journey. Another test day looms. This one looms with an aura of fear. The others did to. But this one even more so. This one is the last hurrah, the last time. There is so much riding on this one. The last three times we always had a next time. With this one, if the outcome is the same, we have a consultation with the doctor about 4 failed treatments. We really like our doctor, Dr. Jani Jensen. We've only seen her our very first time at Mayo. We will see her again. The question running through our minds is will it be because it failed or will it be because it worked?


We're terrified. We remind ourselves to keep taking deep breaths...and we tell ourselves "you will get through this". But not without grace. God is already showering us with grace we realize, and he's getting ready to shower us with the next bunch of grace, whether that be to get us through deep devastating pain or to get us through joy and excitement beyond anything we have ever imagined. When we really think about test day we only think about joy...if that isn't what happens that day, we know it will be grace that carries us for we will not be able to stand on our own.

Up to this point every appointment we have scheduled has worked so perfectly with our schedules. The one that interferes with Joel's last ethics class? The one for if it doesn't work. I hope we can cancel that one.